It’s obvious that people like being shown appreciation, but there’s more to being appreciated than meets the eye. Social scientists say we’re hard-wired to respond powerfully to appreciation. In fact, the quest for acceptance and appreciation may be one of our stronger drivers.

When we’re validated by others, we’re inclined to bond with them. I call this the Validation Principle, and it’s one of the keys to building durable customer relationships.

Regardless of the product or service we’re offering, people are more likely to stick with our brand if we demonstrate genuine appreciation for them. The keyword here is ‘genuine’.

Emotionally intelligent business people have long understood and applied this principle. Now, social networks, like Twitter, make it possible for companies to show appreciation for their customers while also growing communities of loyal followers in the process.

Virgin America, JetBlue, and Comcast are examples of companies using Twitter to recognize customers for their loyalty.  One-by-one, big brands are jumping on the social media bandwagon.

I’m most impressed with how Zappos does it.  I started taking notice of Zappos after hearing their CEO, Tony Hsieh, at a recent conference.  He recognizes Twitter’s potential as a powerful customer engagement tool.

The company set up a Twitter micro site with a Beginners Guide to Twitter and a leader board where employees are ranked by their number of followers.

Zappos brings some natural advantages. For starters, a strong customer focus is embedded in the company’s DNA. Zappos chooses employees with strong relational skills, gives them the means for interaction, and provides thoughtful guidance without inhibiting their sense of expression.

However, Zappos’ most effective tool may be Hsieh’s own relational skills. Hsieh uses Twitter to “connect with” rather than “market to” his followers.  Through his modeling and encouragement, Zappos has mobilized 440 employees to show their love for Zappos’ customers using Twitter and other social media tools.

Unlike a lot of companies whose message is “Gee, look how cool we are”.  Zappos’ message is “Wow! Look how cool our customers are”.

The result? Zappos customers like being recognized for their loyalty. Many become evangelists who serve as Zappos’ de facto marketing force.

Zappos is a paradigm for how companies can use social networking to build loyal followers.  Other models for leveraging social media to boost customer loyalty are bound to emerge.  Which companies will find the most inventive ways to validate customers?

Twitter is a great channel for showing the people we serve that we appreciate them and that our success depends on it. As companies figure out how to use Twitter to validate their customers, they should discover that they have a powerful and cost-efficient customer loyalty tool at their disposal.

What do you think?  I’d love to hear your perspective.  Is it practical for companies to use social media to show their appreciation for customers?  If so, how would you recommend they go about it?

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Want more on this subject?

Read a related post on the role of relational competencies like empathy in business.

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It is with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential  is invisible to the eye. ~Antoine De Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

Business stories about “empathy” are springing up again. BusinessWeek ran one (Empathy = Growth) last week.  Fast Company covers the subject periodically. Authors are urging readers to consider the merits of empathy despite the need to cut operating costs as demand for services declines. It makes sense for businesses to re-evaluate their customer relationships in this environment. I think empathy remains widely misunderstood and its role is undervalued in the business community.

Simply put, empathy is rooted in the capacity to see the world through the eyes of another person.  Empathy enables a provider of service to recognize the buyer’s feelings, needs, and wants in order to fulfill these drivers through various means.

I’m interested in a broad spectrum of “relational competencies,” including empathy, and how they are used in business. Skillful practitioners use these competencies to show their understanding, respect and appreciation for others.  These skills include self-awareness and various social competencies that enable the practitioner to listen to and validate customers which forms the basis of relationships.

I admit to a strong bias on this subject that stems from my work and research in this area: I’m convinced that an organization’s relational skills — meaning its collective capacity to engage customers — can be improved, and that it pays to do so.

Success depends on the company’s cultural climate among other factors. Leadership is essential. Organizations need robust, efficient service systems and analytical tools for gauging their performance. Traditional service training programs have been disappointing.  But research shows that effective learning solutions are helpful if they are properly designed, delivered and supported.

Why do so many companies struggle with this? Many suffer from a form of relational deficit disorder. They’re not facile with the “people” part of the business. They describe relational competencies as “soft skills,” implying that they aren’t essential — a message that undermines their relationship-building efforts.

Smart companies know better.  They recognize the link between relational skillfulness and customer retention, net promoter index, spend rates and other relationship metrics. They’re explicit and concrete about relational skills as a criterion for hiring, rewards and advancement.

Since its early days, Southwest Airlines’ approach has been “Hire for Attitude, Train for Skill”. The motto is now old hat. But the first time I heard that, it hit me like a sledgehammer:  Here was a company — a rival at the time — that could distill its talent management strategy in six words.

It’s no surprise that Southwest has flourished through every business cycle. During lean times, they grow stronger  than their rivals. They’ve run a tight ship, no doubt about it, but they do know how to relate to people. What’s amazing is that they operate 3,400 flights a day, yet they don’t let the noise of running an operation get in the way of serving the customer.  Their culture is “casual” and even “whimsical,” but there’s no doubt that it’s about the people.

It sounds cliché but forging stronger relationships is a winning strategy, and it works across industries and markets. It’s as true for the Belgian bank as it is for the UAE mobile operator, or the Singaporean airport. It applies to the South African resort, the British retailer, and the U.S. airline.  Relating to people is at the heart of what we do whether we sell handcrafted rugs in an Uzbeki bazaar or design luxury cars in a German high rise.

Observing service encounters around the world convinces me that people everywhere crave understanding, respect, and appreciation.  How people demonstrate that varies from place to place, but the need for feeling valued is deep-seated and universal.  If your company’s culture and infrastructure don’t support delivering your offerings with relational competency on a consistent basis, there’s work to be done.

Engaging people is necessary but not sufficient to delivering an exceptional customer experience.  Companies must deliver their products and services efficiently. Firms like Southwest Airlines that can balance relational competency with process rigor and execution have a powerful advantage over their rivals.

As more companies bring customers into the product and service design process, relational skills will become more coveted.  Collaboration with customers requires that we relate to people more skillfully.  The challenge in working with people shoulder-to-shoulder or across the globe is to understand and relate to them as we pursue common goals.  Tapping the power of collaboration requires high-level relational skillfulness.

As the world grows smaller, our ability to capacity to relate to others becomes a strategic advantage. Psychologist Daniel Goleman wrote, “The ever-pressing need to serve customers and clients well and to work smoothly and creatively with an ever more diverse range of people makes empathic capabilities all the more essential.”

Some organizations have a lot to learn about relational competency. What are the business implications? How can these skills be developed to retain customers and influence their behavior? No two companies face the same challenges and opportunities.  Firms are well served to re-evaluate their approach to relationships as demand for services declines.

As businesses focus on surviving in lean cycles, they tend to cut spending in areas that impact the customer — that’s understandable. The smart ones manage to find a balance between restructuring costs and building relational mastery. I’m betting on them to win.

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Want more on this subject?

For my money, the “go-to” resource on this subject remains Daniel Goleman. His ’98 book, Working with Emotional Intelligence (which followed his ground breaking work, Emotional Intelligence) looks at the skills people need to relate to others in the work place.  Goleman explains that emotional competencies are crucial to building successful relationships.  He supports his recommendations with findings from cognitive and behavioral research.  Goleman was among the first social scientists to discuss the correlation between emotional intelligence and success in the workplace.

Goleman offers an Emotional Competence Framework upon which his recommendations are based. His model is divided into two sections, personal competence and social competence is found below.

PERSONAL COMPETENCE

How we manage ourselves

Self awareness

Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions

• Emotional awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects
• Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits
• Self-confidence: A strong sense of one’s self worth and capabilities.

Self-regulation

Managing one’s internal states, impulses and resources

• Self-Control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check
• Trustworthiness: maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
• Conscientiousness: Taking responsibility for personal performance
• Adaptability: Flexibility in handling change

Innovation:  being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches, and new information

Motivation

Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals

• Achievement drive: striving to improve or meet the standard of excellence
• Commitment: Aligning with the goals of the group or organization
• Initiative: Readiness to act on opportunities
• Optimism: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks

SOCIAL COMPETENCE

These competencies determine how we handle relationships.

Empathy

Awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns

• Understanding others: Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns
• Developing others: Sensing others’ development needs and bolstering their abilities
• Service orientation: Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers’ needs
• Leveraging diversity: Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people
• Political awareness: Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships

Social skills

Adeptness in inducing desirable responses in others

• Influence: Wielding effective tactics for persuasion
• Communication: Listening openly and sending convincing messages
• Conflict management: Negotiating and resolving disagreements
• Leadership: Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups
• Change catalyst: Initiating or managing change
• Building bonds: Nurturing instrumental relationships
• Collaboration and cooperation: Working with others toward shared goals
• Team capabilities: creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals

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